Cedars and Fawns

Psalm 29:5

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.

Ahh trees. I love trees and thickets and windbreaks and woods and bottle-necks of woods.

Tall glorious growths that breathe our air backwards in benevolence and exhale that we might fill our lungs. Quietly sociable rustling creatures in the breeze, waving creaking monsters during storms, and pleasant, shady statues during the summer days.

Trust in a tree’s strength is true-placed. As a child, I never doubted a tree. Surely the branches that barked my shins and scratched my palms with their rough, delicate skin could withstand the light stand of a girl. Surely limbs that waved themselves only slightly in the wildest of winter winds could bear the weight of a wanderer.

Yet cedars. Cedars have thick boles and branches that shade each other and reach out under each other like people spreading their hands palm-up to reach the sun. The cedars slant and thicken around their middles and squat to stretch further.

I think of the boles of the redwoods, for the branches I scarcely saw. I recall thick trunks with knobby supports that dived underground to become roots. I remember backing up and staring in fascination at the lens of my camera because I could not see the edge of the tree in it. I remember looking up at the smooth, ancient grooves in their reddish bark and watching them stretch like lightning bolts up the sides of the trees to where the lower branches were – high above the rest of the forest. The tops of these trees? I never saw them.

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.

Cedars – redwoods – indisputable signs of strength, and yet the strength of a shout from heaven snaps them over.

These trees are majestic like natural pillars to the entrance of a king’s remote palace, perhaps the palace of heaven. But when the king cries Welcome! even the supporting pillars wilt.

These trees grow in beauty and glory season by season, and extend themselves in their assigned shapes with graceful stretch and silhouette. Yet when their maker’s beauty beacons from afar, even their full glory is disfigured next to this radiant embodiment of beauty unborn.

Yet some in this torrential rain of glory hear only terror. In pain and anguish they decipher not soft syllables but slavery. The powerful voice is the voice they have come to fear and revile, for the only powerful voice they know is a voice that beats them the while.

And over these, I pray the Psalm 29:9, for The Lord makes the deer give birth.

He is over the long-lived glory of the cedars, and the miraculous coming forth of the fawns. Just as his voice causes cedars to crumble, so his gentleness cradles new life. His glory triumphs over that of the earth, so his tenderness tends the weak.

And so our God is a God of glory and thunder and babies, a God of declaring beauty and a God of delicate birth.

A God of the strength of cedars, and a God of the fragility of fawns.

2013: Make it Meaningful

The new calendar hands me a snazzy empty grid to fill with life. Is it opportunity, or is it intimidating? 

I begin to plan for the new year; I pick out meaningful things from the endless list of opportunities and drop them onto that handy sectioned cardstock. But the word meaningful catches me. Meaningful. It’s used so often to describe the old year that I feel it’s a mandate: Find thou something meaningful in this year!

I can’t.

I’m not going to look back and point to 2012 and tell you that my character took great strides, and that I 

gained a sense of direction.

It wasn't like that.

My definition of meaningful changed.

In June I went to New York City with my choir. I would describe it to you in the varying hues of the markets we visited, or the audiences we sang for, or the places we ate. But all that comes to mind is “We had so much fun!” It was a pleasurable and empty trip. We went. We sang. We came home.

In September I went to Colorado with Katie. I won’t try to describe it to you. I can only try to clarify the meaning it taught me.

There was fellowship. There is a fellowship in a choir, just as there is a fellowship in God. But a choir needs a purpose. God is purpose. And to fellowship in Christ then, is meaningful as nothing else can be.

Things came of this fellowship. Study. We came together every morning, afternoon and evening for lectures. We studied the solidness of the truths of God. Desire to study. We took notes, bought books, took time to meditate and pray about what we learned. Close fellowship. We were divided into small groups to pray for, lean on and support each other. Joy. Maybe we just looked like another group of volleyball players at the park, but our smiles didn't end with our physical exertion. We served joyfully – taking plates after meals or helping Mat with his sprained ankle. We took joy in learning, in praising, in prayer, in fellowship and in sleep. More fellowship. We now worship together by posting verses on Facebook. We study by posting and responding to articles and listening to the wise voices of our new friends.  

In June I came back from New York with the choir exhausted, ready to sleep.

In September I came back from back from Colorado with Katie; Katie-bug; My Katie, exhausted and eager to fellowship.

That gridded wall hanging beckons me again. I smile.

Opportunity.

For Meaning. 

Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving. Not Easter. Yes, I’m grateful for over-stuffed turkeys and aromatic pies, time with my family, laughs shared with friends, and another blessed year. Yes, I’m rejoicing that I live a life of plenty, that God has blessed us with a bounteous abode, abundant land, and canine adorers. My stereotypical little life is a thing I have great thanks for. But that which my heart sings the loudest for, that for which I can find no words but I must express, is my gratitude for the spiritual blessing that begat all spiritual blessings. I thank God for Christ.

I praise God for his peace in my confusion, his joy when I’m discouraged, and his love when I want to be angry; I praise God for his death for my life.

Lately I have been studying the book of Esther. I’ve read it before, and it’s a good story. Esther becomes queen in time to save her people from annihilation. But the question has been hounding me: why is this story in the Bible?  And in the few nights I prayed for revelation and truly studied, the Holy Spirit whispered. I could suddenly see the fantastic way this story pictures in a human romance God’s heart and mind.

Esther was not perfect, as a lamb must be. But she was submissive to her cousin-turned-father, and showed honor to the husband she was not allowed to choose. She invited Haman to feast with her, and endured the realness of evil without Mordecai’s protective presence. Xerxes in turn renounced his closest counselor and trusted friend for the love of his endangered bride. The Jews were empowered and overcame their assailants on that fateful day ever after entitled Purim, a day of salvation.

The parallels astounded me. Each element seemed to point to Christ’s perfect offering, with a human spin. Esther released her life without dying. Xerxes granted life to the nation he first sold into destruction, all with eyes for one woman and ears for whomever spoke.

The record of this small segment in time is a breath-taking panorama of heavenly design. It emphasized God’s zealous protection of his chosen in the past. Even Zeresh realized that “’If Mordecai, before whom you have begun to fall, is of the Jewish people, you will not overcome him but will surely fall before him.’” Medes and Persians understood God’s reputation. Yet this epic, like a glass of water, also magnified Christ’s coming story. Ever so clearly, this type of Christ fit together piece by piece and pictured salvation.

Esther was afraid to offer herself, and prayed for three days. Christ wept and endured agony at the thought of his suffering. Xerxes killed his advisor rather than lose his wife. God turned away from Christ to win us.

It is for all this I feel gratitude this Thanksgiving. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing…even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him…to the praise of his glorious grace with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:3,4 and 6.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Praise him all creatures here below.

Praise him above ye heavenly hosts.

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

 

Amen.

Revitalizing Leadership: Live to change lives.

My generation needs to see believers living out Biblical faith. In Titus 2:7 it says “…in all respects be a model of good works, in your teaching show integrity, dignity and sound speech…” In today’s world many people say one thing and do another. They live a double standard. Transformational leadership starts with believers leading as a way of life. This necessitates involvement in scriptures, family, church, work and government.

Believers need to be rooted in the word. There is great poverty of biblical knowledge among believers today. We delve into commentaries and short studies about the Bible, grateful for man’s perspiration, but we are malnourished of God’s inspiration. For us to lead, we need to be in the word and know the word.

Our most important sphere of leadership needs to be our family. The Bible states in 1^st Timothy 3: 4-5 that if we can’t lead our own family we can’t lead in church. I believe familial leadership encompasses loving, valuing and respecting our spouse and modeling love and integrity to our kids.

Leadership at church is multifaceted. Plug into a small group, triad or other Bible study. Participating in a group in which we lead others and are led as we study scripture is necessary to our growth. Be held accountable. Be involved in service; find your area of excellence and be a leader. Lead AWANA games, a Bible study, worship etc.

Work; no matter how big or small the corporation, even the Christian intern can lead! Be the best employee that you can. Show up on time, work hard, be a person of integrity. This will give you a platform with which to bring up Christ.

Christians need to lead in government. One of the biggest ways is staying informed of what different candidates and elected officials believe. Take the time to vote and encourage others to vote. If you feel called to run for an office, pray about it, then jump in and be courageous.

My generation needs to be believers who are purposeful in living out their faith. Individuals don’t turn away from Christianity because they have tried it and it doesn’t work. They turn away because they see hypocrisy in people who claim to be believers but don’t live by the book.

The Last Lesson - Summit Ministries

I can't seem to get the hang of retreats.

Basic recipe: laugh, listen, pray, take notes, fellowship, talk to God.

I can do most of that, no problem. But in the midst of such strong fellowship, in the center of Biblical learning, surrounded by stories of God's grace and truth is where I lose sight of God.

It seems to happen every time.

At home, I can sit on my bed with my Bible on my lap and pray God's grace over my family, my friends, my tomorrow, my sins and never lose that sense of communication. But then when I'm surrounded by people who lovingly expect me to be so strong spiritually my faith gets lost in the shuffle. I know God's there. I know he hears me when we're singing our worship, when we're hiking on faith, or when we're serving with his love. I know God is listening when we're praying, that the Holy Spirit is interpreting when we're learning, that he's inspiring the teachers.
But my heart wonders, and feels empty.
And so my mind begins to wonder.

Colorado was great! We went hiking three mornings, and got to see the sunrise over the hills in the east from the top of Red Mountain. The puns they put on the kitchen walls every lunch were hilarious! We'd sit and laugh about them through our meal. Pikes peak united us in fascinated misery as we hiked 8 oxygen-deprived miles to the most breathtaking view in Colorado. We were encouraged to chat amongst ourselves before and after lectures, and by the end of two weeks, everybody had met everybody, I believe.

But I still felt alone. Until they brought David into the last Foundation session, the last morning.
"Does doubting mean you've lost faith?" Our speaker searched our faces, letting the question settle into us.
"Divide into your small groups and read Psalm 42."

In Psalm 42, David is in agony. He reveals his very soul as downcast, says his tears have been his food. And in the next breath he tells himself "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 42:5b)

He doubts, and he cries out. But he will praise still.
He questions, but he reminds himself that the One he questions is faithful.
He is downcast and disturbed, yet he will praise.

"Alright. Who wants to answer the question? What did you find as you studied this in your groups?"

"Um...What was the question?" Nolan asked quickly. His group chuckled, embarrassed, and gave him the answer quietly.

"Oh! Ok," Nolan recovered nonchalantly. "Well-"

But I've already tuned out. I realized I'm wasn't losing faith. I hadn't lost track of God through all the noise of the camp. Even through the pain of wondering where God has gone, we can worship and fellowship and trust, and praise.

And God is there.

Oh Happy Day!

It's amazing how theology happens to you sometimes.

I've been to rock concerts before. You buy a ticket, find your seat (sometimes - usually you don't) and spend the rest of the evening plugging your ears and jumping up and down. I've been to worship concerts too. You stand there feeling like you should raise your hands and look dedicated, but you think everyone's looking at you (they aren't) so you don’t.

This was a worship rock concert. I was confused. We bought tickets and found our seats. We performed the whole pre-concert crowd roar; people were leaning over railings, standing in their rows, running out to the bathroom and back, finding tee-shirts, or sitting in their seats – and everyone was talking to someone. We all knew the drill and played out the same scenario that’s happened at every concert I’ve been to. It was when the music started that I was confused.

All the worship I’ve been too has had a toned down beat and gentle lyrics. This worship concert was different. The drums and the lead guitar didn’t sound nice anymore, they sounded wild. Party wild. Kinda took my breath away. But after all, they’re the opening band. Guess that’s what you’d expect. I shrugged and smiled, moving a little to the beat. And then the lead band came out.

Music ripped through the air and battered our willing ear drums. Vibrations shoved themselves up through the cement floor and rattled my feet, like laughter. Lights flashed on their rotary stands, stabbing into my eyes for a millisecond before beaming at the next eager face.

Thoughts tumbled slowly and thickly through my mind.

The idea of worship left me and I began to just sing. There was no hope of hearing my own voice above the roar, but I opened my mouth and joined with hundreds of others to let the band know that we were singing too, however unnoticeably.

The pointlessness of trying to make noise turned my mind back to the words I was singing. “Sing, sing sing, and make music to the heavens! I will sing, sing, sing, Grateful that you hear us. As we shout your praise, lift high the name, Of Jesus!” I began to feel them. I stopped trying to sing well and sang to God. I lifted my face and closed my eyes. “Grateful that you hear us…” Almost without my consent, my arms lifted and I reached for the God I was singing to. I was no longer thinking about who was watching, because God was watching, and taking pleasure.

Finally the rumbling beneath my feet and the drum beat rattled me back to the auditorium. I began jumping with the rest of the crowd. And I wondered where the worship had gone. Here we are, having a celebration, I thought with something bordering on fear, but this is a worship concert! What were we doing wrong?

Nothing. We’re not doing anything wrong! We’re celebrating GOD! Call it a thunderbolt moment if you will, but I think that’s an understatement. I found myself unable to stop bouncing and singing and reaching up. I had so much praise inside, and it kept coming out in action and song.

Realizations demand thinking time, which there was not a lot of during a rock and worship concert. I simply discovered that God enjoys a celebration. And that it doesn’t take a degree in theology to discover something like that.

It was a second incident that completed my lesson. I took up my usual evening stance – sitting cross legged on the bed with my Bible and journal in my lap, enjoying the silence of my family asleep. Tomorrow was Bible Study with a few girls from youth group. My brain slapped me to point out that perhaps I should actually read the chapter we’ll be studying tomorrow.

John 2:2- “Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” …Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water… and take [some] to the master of the feast.” So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine…” (Bold mine)

And I stopped. Jesus’ statement caught me. “My hour has not yet come.” Before this night, my question always remained: If Jesus’ hour to do miracles had not come, why did he do a miracle? An answer dropped into my head. “To let the party continue.”

What?!  “Yes. To let the party continue.” I shook my head and read further, waiting for a testimony of somebody’s life changed, a soul given new life through this incident. There was none.

And gradually, the concept merged with my experience. God enjoys celebrating.

My first, fleeting thought was Could it be? And then I wondered, more accurately, Would I want it any other way?

It’s a bigger lesson in theology than I’ve had in a while. And I’m still celebrating it.

D2

If you have changed a life, can your life stay the same?

I have to wonder how I've changed. I didn't see it happen. But I think it must have, somewhere.

I don't know when I first learned about disciple making. It probably happened to me before I really knew what it was. Mom lead a Bible study for me and my sisters. We attended. That was that. Then Dad led a Bible Study every Wednesday night for men at the church. Then both my parents told me I should lead one. I gulped. And I turned them down.

Two years later, I must have had a better idea of what Discipleship was. "Mom!? I think I could lead this Bible Study. Do you think so? Can we order the training kit?"

And two years after that, I actually got to learn about disciple making.

Left to Right - Me, Mariah, Tiffany. Tuesday Ladies, we call each other.  Should be more like girls, maybe. We're not old. We studied Discipleship as we practiced it. Mariah and I were discipled by Tiffany as we learned about discipleship. The three of us studied it. We learned that disciple making is a three-tiered work of faith. First we are discipled. We study scripture and strengthen our faith. It's easiest really. It's like going to school. True, you have to work for those moments of revelation, and there's homework, but at least you aren't the teacher.

And then suddenly, you are the teacher. D2. You're a disciple who makes disciples. Just like a graduate student who tutors, you realize the reason for homework. You've needed it all along. And the opportunity to teach usually comes just before you actually think you're ready for it. It must be healthy for us.

Last week marked D2 for me. I have been friends with Little Leah - as my mental faculties consistently label her - for over a year. I can't get her off my heart. I didn't think I loved her any more than any of the other little girls, but God pointed her out to me. When God points something out, you don't have much choice about whether you're gonna do it.

I met with her Wednesday. Tuesday, at 11 p.m. I wrote down a few questions for Leah. "Can you tell me what the Gospel means for you? What do you want to learn about and study in our times together? What do you think 1 Timothy 4:12 means?" I figured I had a pretty good grasp on an hours' worth of material, counting a few awkward pauses and some meditative time.

God: *Snort* Yeah, ok Gianna, if that's what tosses your confetti.

I did get to use one of my questions. "So Leah? Can you tell me exactly what the Gospel means in your own words?"

"Um...I don't think so. No, I'm not sure."

...

*Crickets*

...

"Well, ..." And I began with Romans 3:23. When I finished explaining the gospel, Leah just looked at me. I asked her if she wanted to accept Christ.

"Yes! I do!" So I prayed with her.

I don't think I really caught my breath until that evening. Wait, what?! I think I just...lead somebody to Christ! I couldn't believe what I'd done. I thought back and tried to realize it. Yes, she'd sat there and nodded her head. I'd prayed with her, holding her hands, listening to her talking to her new Savior.

I guess that's what listening feels like. God whispered, and I acted. I can't recall actually thinking about what I was doing. Chances are God was doing the thinking for me.

I want it to stay that way.

Broken Road

Hello everyone! My name’s Mariah Steenerson… I know, I know you were expecting a blog post by my talented friend Gianna. Sorry!

A few weeks ago I got a call from Gianna to do a guest post on her blog about something BIG that’s about to happen in my life. January 15, 2012 I will be leaving this small town of Minnesota for Townsville, Australia to do a program called Youth With A Mission (YWAM). I could give you a long complex definition of what this program is but I’ll keep it basic. YWAM is an opportunity for anyone (generally 18-25 years of age) at any place in the world to come together to be taught and teach the gospel everywhere and anywhere, to make disciples of all nations. The idea of a program such as this was originated by a man named Loren Cunningham while he was on a missions trip. It came as a vision of waves crashing onto the sand of beaches. Then, the waves turned into young people that not only were covering beaches but all the nations.

Fifty one years later and this small program that started out as just a vision is now located in 1,000 locations in over 180 countries! The waves of young people envisioned by Loren are completely evident today. I think of this and I am totally blown back at how amazing our God can work. No words can describe.

So what will a small town girl like me be doing in a big continent like Australia? For 3 months I will be going through a Discipleship Training School where I will learn more about who God is and who he made me to be. This is just like a regular school in many ways. I have a set schedule for each day of the week, tests and homework—you got it, and no sadly I don’t get to sleep in every day of the week. 

Then the next three months are filled with outreaches. Usually a YWAM Discipleship Training school will have one outreach to somewhere around the world, but my specific school will be doing two outreaches. The places I might be are: Thailand, Indonesia, East Timor, Papua New Guinea, Fiji, or New Zealand.

It sounds as though when I arrive in Townsville I will have two weeks to pray about the two places God wants me to be. If you would be willing to pray for me and this two week period of hard decision making that would be great! I don’t want to pick a certain place just because it would be a cool place to visit; I want to go wherever God wants me.

Along with these two main phases of my trip; I will be doing a two week camping trip in the outback, visiting Billabong, involved with different ministries in Australia, and hanging out with some cool Aussies.

From reading this you may think I’ve had my mind made up about this for awhile now, but truth is it’s only been a few months. This past year has been one long broken road. I could go on and on about how difficult it was, but the main point is I was broken and defeated and through it God made me stronger. He used every difficulty, every problem to get me where I am today and for that I am very thankful. 

Don’t be afraid to get broken. In fact, you should desire to be broken; desire to be so defeated that your only option is to surrender to the one true God, because it’s when we’re broken that we are closest to God and can be used most effectively by Him. Do not fear brokenness.

For those of you that are young and are still trying to figure out college and a major, I have some simple advice for you. Instead of crying your eyes out every night like I did. Trust in the almighty God! Jer. 29:11 says He has a plan for you. Sometimes we are called to wait and be patient, but take heart God has made many promises in His book, promises that should be taken as truth so much as to thank God for them even before they become evident in your life. None of those promises say I will lead you up to the time you graduate high school and then I will leave you to make all of the decisions. No. God will be there EVERY step of the way IF you give your life to Him.

Below are some verses that have helped me through this past year.

Thank you, Gianna for allowing me to have a guest post on your blog. I am thankful to have such an encouraging and loving friend! I thank God for you daily. Keep on glorifying God with your blog posts; he has definitely given you a gift. 

 

If you’d like to check out my blog go to 

http://heart-of-a-sojourner.blogspot.com

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Blessed.

mariah

Joy Indescribeable

Yesterday I was given a gift. I was flipping backwards through Psalms on my way to Psalm 19, a chapter I love, when something grabbed me. It wasn't a word I noticed, and it wasn't that I'd underlined something there before, I just stopped flipping and started to read. It had to have been the Holy Spirit.

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him. Praise the Lord with the hapr; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love."

I read it mentally in breathless tones. Joy lit up my mind! Go back and re-read that, but this time picture somebody reading it with so much energy that they're bouncing on their toes, grinning ear to ear, raising their eyebrows and waving their arms, because of a joy that cannot be contained!

Does that not make you want to dance?

*Murmurs* "If I but knew the steps..."

I love watching Scotch dancers.

This is a 10 stringed lyre. I wonder if only 10 notes can be played or if somehow you can play more...?

This is a tempting picture. I love to play! O! to know that playing is glorious to God! What better news?

What kind of plan is this?

Ponemah was shocking.


I craned to see past Tiffany, our driver, as we pulled in to the small town of Ponemah. Where was the church? We stopped at a house with a sign on the side that said "Wah-Bun Chapel." I mentally crumpled the image of VBS in a church basement and reconstructed one of a garage with folding chairs. Ok I thought, I guess this can work.

The first day was a wreck. Images, actions and words came barreling at me and left me breathless, wondering belatedly how I should respond. Mainly it was the children. They were sweet and lovable, hard and concealing, bright a cheery, moody and unresponsive almost at the same time. They wouldn't sit still during the singing or the lesson. They didn't understand the structured game, or the questions we asked them as follow-up. After two hours of seemingly pointless words, we ended up playing with the kids outside on the lawn, waiting until it was time to go home. Half-an-hour later, we climbed into the van sweaty from giving shoulder rides in the sun and playing Duck Duck Goose.

After dinner I found a quiet corner and curled up with my Bible for some contemplation. I finally released tears of frustration. After all we had said and done, none of the children could remember the theme verse or point out which piece of Spiritual armor we'd discussed. Discouragement piled on my shoulders and I trembled as I asked God, "What difference will we even make? This is pointless!"

Aching shoulders interrupted my thoughts, begging for muscle rub. I reflected on our last half hour in Ponemah that day. I must have given Jack 3 shoulder rides, and he'd asked for more. My name tag had been swiped to embellish a collection one girl began on her shirt. I'd been poked as "It" so many times I almost tingled. It was exhausting. But the kids loved it. The same smiles that disappeared when we sat down beamed when they tagged me. 4-year-olds smiled at me with big eyes when I handed them a glass of water.

"Is that it, God?" I wondered: holy light bulbs illuminated fleshly cobwebs. Then there was a plan! My perspective rotated 180 degrees as I realized our VBS simply took us to Ponemah. Our love for the children touched their hearts. Strategies formed in my mind - more shoulder rides for Evan. My name tag to Chalise. More tag with Katherine.

Tuesday afternoon, before VBS even began, I was attacked by a child with brown eyes and a larger marker. "How do you spell your name?" She demanded. She wrote carefully, saying each letter out loud. In seconds, my name tag was applied to her shirt. With concealed delight, she ripped her own name tag off and planted her flag on my shoulder. "There." She sounded satisfied. Joy thrilled in my heart and I thanked God for allowing me to join Him in his work.

Mark 10:41 "I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward."
 

This was our team joined with the Grand Forks team. Our team includes me (right in front of fella with green shirt) Jorde, (guy in the middle) Danae (left end of the front row) Christa (right end of the second row) and Tiffany (far left).

Phandie gathers the children around her the first day after the game to ask them questions - whether they're enjoying the first day, and if they got the point of the game etc.

Tiffany and Taylor. Jack is on Taylor's shoulders.

From left: Hailey(?), Me, Kaitlyn, Jacob (on shoulders) Jorde, Shaylee, Caleb (on shoulders) and Nahid. 

 Corey takes on Katherine in an arm wrestle. She won...!

Gwen participated in the game that correlated with the Beld of Truth: we wrote out lies from the Devil and put bubble wrap around them. When the children discovered and understood the refuting verse we'd placed underneath, they could stomp out the lies. Gwen did this with Tiffany and Tiffany was able to bless her with love.

Laura let Caleb and Kaitlyn play with her guitar. She had such a fun and loving spirit! 

Barb - proprieter of Wah-Bun chapel, told us casually that there were bears at the dump as we were leaving on Friday afternoon. Tiffany gaped and said "Tell us how to get there!" We saw three bears and they were all as skinny as the one in the photo above. It was awesome! 

Kaitlyn and I got to be friends that week. She was the sweetest little child! I pray I never forget this experience, and that I always remember the lessons I learned. Father, keep the fire burning in me for these children and chilren everywhere!

Grow

I know that it's been forever and a day since I've blogged. You'll have to find it in your hearts to forgive me. I had too much on my heart and on my mind and in my life to put into words. The last week of June, I and four others from our church went on a missions trip to Ponemah in the Red Lake Reservation.

At the end of this trip, Tiffany asked us to prepare answers for people who we knew would be asking us about our time at Mokahum and Ponemah, and she told us to just take the one aspect of the week that impacted us the most deeply and to talk about that. However, I just can't get away from the fact that there were two things that really stood out to me, so you get to hear about both of them.

The first is that on this trip, I really gained a strong sense of the unity of the church and really being the body of Christ. It's a concept I've read about before, and I've heard sermons on it, and heard songs about it, but it hasn't really resonated with me before this trip. I first felt this on Sunday the 26th, when we were commissioned. As I felt hands on my shoulders and as Pastor Bruce prayed, I realized that all of us were coming before God together, as one, and seeking His protection, His guidance, and His hand to be on our team. But the Spirit was there, and there was unity. I realized that our team was not leaving church for a week and coming back with a news report of how another church grew, but that we as a church, as the body of Christ, were reaching out to a broken people who were not in the family, and our team was truly priviledged to be the fingertips.

That knowledge was both amazing and comforting to me. We going to serve aware of the people we would be serving and also aware the supporting prayers from the rest of the Spiritual family. When we got to Mokahum, we met the team from Grand Forks. Hearing them talk about their church and the leadership there and the people praying for them took everything I'd just learned about unity and magnified it 100-fold. I realized something that I hadn't had time to even think about before, that our church wasn't alone! There was a church in Grand Forks that was reaching out by our side - a church that we could serve with, work with, worship with and fellowship with and pray with! My concept of family grew by lightyears. Throughout the week, our whole team, I think, felt a strong connection to the Grand Forks team. By the time we'd known them almost three days, it felt as though we'd known them for years because of the Spiritual oneness that was so present. The experience was completely beyond anything I'd ever imagined before and it brings to mind Philipians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conducet yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of
Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absensce, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the Faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you." And also Philipians 2: 2 "Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose." That was Mokahum all the way.

The second thing that was really impressed on my heart was the power of the the need for prayer. This lesson also started, I think, with our commissioning. The fact that we were all gathered together to pray, really made a strong impression on me. Afterwards also, so many people came up to me and us and just encouraged us by letting us know they would be praying for us and all of your prayers have been a huge blessing. At Mokahum and Ponemah, our team and the Grand Forks team were praying together all the time. We prayed in the vehicles on the way to Ponemah for the kids that we would be seeing that day, we prayed when we ate together for the afternoons ahead of us, or behind us, we prayed in the evenings before we went out sharing the Gospel, and even as we walked around sharing with different people. And whenever we sat down together to talk, we would open and close in prayer, and all this prayer really was powerful.

The day that I really learned this though was at Ponemah on Friday. We had just begun the last afternoon of VBS and we were opening with some singing. I was standing at the back of the room, almost squirming. I could feel that there was a strong oppression in the room. I felt almost smothered and I couldn't sing at all. I wanted to go grab our team and take them outside and tell them all to pray, but they were all busy keeping a child in line, or holding somebody on their laps, so I just started praying by myself. I just begged God to put his hand of protection over the building and over the hearts and minds of everybody present, both the leaders and the kids, and I kept praying that over and over until it was time to move on to our next activity.

It wasn't until about 3 that afternoon, when we were ready to do our skit, that there was peace - and then it was so peaceful that it was exciting! We were enthused, the kids were actually quiet and listened, and we could all feel the freedom from the earlier oppression and the joy that came with that. The rest of the day was clearly Spirit-filled and beautiful. But Ponemah that day had been a true battle ground. It was challenging because when we started, there was such oppression that the natural response was despair - it was discouraging and intimidating. But if you read past the "official" armor of God, Ephesians 6:18 says "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."  And also James 5:16-18 "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops." God listens to our prayer, and our prayer carries weight with him. Prayer is powerful.

Simple Things

I've come to realize that one of life's simplest gifts paired with one of God's gifts of love is intentionally one of those moments when God is trying to bring to mind 1 Corinthians 2:9 "...what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - the things God has prepared for those who love him."

This conclusion is based on the as-near-as-you-can-get-to-perfection evening that I am enjoying.

Today, we had ice-cream. The important thing is not that we ate it, but that we had it in our freezer. Tonight I scraped the remainders of the frozen goodness into my mug. The second blessing was that we had instant-shell chocolate topping. We almost never have that - much less with toffee bits in it. I took my frozen goodness topped with milk chocolate and toffee bits outside.

The air was cool and the sun was hanging above the horizon just for me. A single bird outdid himself catering to entertain me. The twilight blended the sharp colors of the Box elders and the pines against the lawn until their colors were sweet harmony, designed for the my delight alone. The sky was a dancing mural of muted but vibrant blue, pink and gold.

Four ducks flew over my head in formation. The tinkle of my spoon against my mug echoed across the road and fairy tinkles laughed back at me from the barn. I bit into my ice-cream and toffee bits melted and exploded with flavor. They tasted like liquid sunshine transformed into rock candy - enough crunchy to add texture; and enough sunshine to leave me smiling and savoring each nibble. I leaned my head back and was greeted - I give my word this is true - by four clouds, two round as eyes, an upright-ish smudge nose, and a crooked mouth turned up in one corner by a grin. It is the most natural smile - and the most supernatural - that I have ever seen.

Was this not a perfect moment?

Glorious Day

I have a habit of marking off the days on my calendar that I've turned into a pleasant ritual of sorts. Instead of just crossing out the whole square with a pen - how doleful looking! - I put a colorful "x" in the upper right corner of the date. And they're color-coded too. Nothing random or original, just the delightful prism range, following the pattern of that unforgettable name, Roy G. Biv. I had a few extra markers in the set, pink and brown. Perhaps it was the girl in me that insisted in working pink in after violet and before red; lonely brown is destined to mark events and not the passing of days as long as his ink runs damp.

But one day I stared at my calendar, aghast at the action I was about to perform. A new perspective nearly blinded me as a portion of plank from somewhere on my face clattered to the floor.* My life was laid out as just so many X's on paper. I froze: eyes wide, mental wheels turning at a furious rate, pen raising a hypothetical eyebrow at my pause.

Is this what I want? I questioned. Do I really mean to live my life looking forward to the next x? Checking off days because they're done? Rejoicing in going to sleep? Suddenly it seemed as if I'd been wasting time, trying to hurry through each day just so that it'd be over. I capped my pen. Strange thoughts muddled together and only one thing was clear: I couldn't cross out another day just yet.

Several times throughout the next day I went up to the calendar ready to mark off that last day, which hadn't been concluded in the standard way. Each time the same thought stopped me. I couldn't just live like this, waiting with anticipation to end each day, with the purpose of getting to the next one and ending it also. I'd shake my head to clear my brain and walk away, determined to come armed with more strength and bolder ink the next time.

Throughout that day I realized something. It wasn't so much a Bible verse that stood out to me as it was a concept that I formulated. God has a plan for my life. He's got something more in mind for me than just marking off days until "to dust I shall return." Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' Declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" I should be seizing each day for its value in God's kingdom. Each day is one in which I can worship God in all I do and all I say. Each day is one in which I can seek opportunities to live for Him and be a living witness for Christ.

That settled things nicely. It was with joy and Holy gusto that I attacked my calendar that evening.



* Matthew 7:3 "Why do you...pay no attention the plank in your own eye?"

Life is! (by Faith) Pt. 2

I am just collecting my thoughts as I write this so don't criticize me for thinking abstractly or drawing strange connections that don't relate. This is a rought draft that's published.



Yesterday during my devo's I was unsure what to read in my Bible. I wanted something that would make sense. I wanted something that I hadn't been reading over mindlessly for a few weeks already. I wanted something that would give me another Life is! blog post. Finally I sacrificed all areas except the second one and started in on Romans 1.



I'm going to go re-read it now.



Only one verse really stood out to me last night: Romans 1:17 "For in the Gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written, 'The righteous will live by faith.'" (This verse quotes Hubakkuk 2:4)



Then today as I read, I noticed that word so many more times. Romans 1:5, 8 and 12. "Through him and for his name's sake we received grace and apostleship to call people from among the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith...First, I thank my God...because your faith is being reported all over the world...that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith."



I gathered that we are to live lives of righteousness through faith. To organize this like an boring professor-ish lecture, I should present a working definition of faith. I won't be elaborate. Read Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."



What questions remain? How do we live by faith? What do we do that requires faith?

I'm really not going to answer the questions, I'm just going to put down my insights about faith and you determine if you still have questions (which you then procede to leave posted as comments.)



"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certian of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead." Hebrews 11:1-4



Wouldn't you like to leave a legacy like that? Wouldn't you love to have people talking about you and your faith after the great-grand children who attended your funeral are dead and gone...2,000 years after your favorite niece sang that horrible swinging tune at your funeral...all those years and people talk about your faith and not the flowers on your casket! That's what I'm talkin' - sign me up!



Moving on.



"And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exixts and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6.



That is a powerful verse. Read it again.



Stop and think about it.



We can't live as Christians without faith. It just doesn't work. It's like trying to make a picture-perfect puzzle without using all the pieces. Not gonna happen.



As I was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan I came across this question. "What are you doing right now that requires faith?"

For me, it takes faith to serve God. I want to do what I want to do so that I achieve what I want to achieve. But it takes all my faith to stop inviting Self to drive my car and make him sit in the back seat (or lock him in the trunk.) It's hard to keep reminding myself that God has a plan for my life, and it is the best plan possible for me. It won't always be what I want it to be, but it will be His plan, and that is all I need to know. In theory. In truth, I am constantly asking Jesus to pull over so I can run back and unlock that trunk. Ish-ta. Horrible idea. It never works out the way I think it should. I usually end up crying and clutching the keys on the side of the road, or handing them back to Jesus and leaning my aching head on his shoulder.

I want to leave this as a challenge to us.

"What are we doing right now that requires faith?"

Related blog post by a friend.

Today I did.

Today I opened the window. The air was so fresh! When the cool breeze washed in and over my bare toes, it felt like summer. Somehow when I'm in my bedroom with the window open the outside always seems so much more mystical and desirable than when I'm anywhere else in the house.

Saturday: Today I wrote a letter to a friend who'd expressed that she was struggling with a lot of stress. I shared some verses and expressed my prayer that they be a blessing to her.

Thursday: Today I named a squirrel. I had named him the other day: Cocky. Somehow that didn't seem right. At first, the word that stuck in my brain was "Shuttlecock" but...honestly? A squirrel named Shuttlecock? I decided to think about it for a while. Then as I mulled it over I mispronounced it "Coddleshuck." What more considering did I have to do?

Friday: I should inform you that some other things that I see often but have no relation to myself have also been named, unbeknown to themselves or their owners. Example: The German Shepherd that lives at the house on the corner--exactly which corner being irrelevant--has been dubbed "Roverandom" which is stolen from a book title (by J. R. R. Tolkien. Read it.) Also, a small child who leaned out of a window and called to me to day has been named "little Red" because of his shirt. Cute little tyke!

Today I packaged up my books to send back to Northwestern College. Northwestern is a good college, but it felt very good to be shipping books back to them. I heard of a friend who took his out to the rifle range and shot them up. Afterward he took a red marker and drew drips of blood. Morbid, yes, but almost an inviting idea sometimes.

Sunday: Today I went to a friend's house and, together with several mutual friends, proceeded to dig a snow fort. Since there were so many of us, there ended up being a few useless cubby holes, but two of us actually coordinated efforts and the end result was that there was a tunnel through Snowy Ridge and a room on one end. Highlights of that evening included: I lost my mitten. Caleb did a back flip off the snow pile - it was a tense moment, he landed on his elbows. We had at least 5 or 7 intermittent snowball fights. I ended up being the first one through our tunnel when we finally broke through. I crawled through on my belly with my coat unzipped and it felt good!

What did you do today? (Or yesterday, or last week. You can see I wasn't very picky.)

Life is! (not Random) Pt. 1

10 minutes ago Mom said "Gianna, it's time for you to be in bed." To my credit, I am. So is the laptop. I can explain! I sat down to have my devotions when suddenly I was violently overwhelmed in an ocean wave of words. Whereupon I calmly took out my handmade wooden pen and wrote. My entry was largely regarding life in a less-than-general sort of way. Read on.

"Every time I enter a new situation I have new emotions, new stresses and a new monocle. Each time something different happens, I respond in a different way. In short, where I am, what I am doing and what happens to me interpret how I view life. I have thought all of the following at least once before.

"Life is beautiful. Life isn't fair. Life is terrible. Life is embarrassing. Life is very sad. Life is awesome. Life is good. Life is stressful. Life is easy. Life is hard. Life is insane.

"But each time, I interpreted all of life through a stained and limited monocle. Now the question becomes How are we to view Life according to God's intentions?"

That was inspiring. I've decided to look for God's view(s) of life throughout the Bible (this does not mean I will be reading the Bible in a month or anything) and write about them for all to read.

The first scripture that came to mind was Jeremiah 1:5-10, "'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.' 'Ah, Sovereign Lord,' I said, 'I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.'"

I know that's a lot, but what I got out of it is that

"Life is not Random."

I know that some of you are instantly protesting my boldness. You like Random! He's your constant companion, your closest confidant, etc. Randomness in creativity, projects, photography, writing; that is not what I'm discussing. I think that God clearly says those verses that our lives are not happenstance. God puts us in situations for God's glory. God gives you gifts for His magnification. God gives you friends and acquaintances who need the words that you have to speak, the pictures you have to draw, the doodles you have to doodles, the fish you want to catch...(ok, ok. I give on that one.)

But seriously. Before we even boasted of being 2 cells worth, God knew us. Before the doctor said, "It's a girl(boy)!" God had set apart your audience. God had and still has a plan for my life and your life.

Before I tuck in and hit my snooze button, I have polish up this facet of our newly discovered, many-faceted gem. No spiritual information is really useful until you can apply it to your life in a meaningful way. So how does Life's lack of Randomness enhance our remaining time on this planet?

This is the time where you hear how I think this can be applied, and then you leave a comment to let me know how you agree, disagree, or can add to my thoughts.

My 'umble opinion: Knowing that God has a plan for my life is reassuring. I can pray for guidance with confidence, knowing that there is a plan and that if I keep seeking His will, I will not stray from it. Also from time to time I sit down beside the trail for a moment and look back down the mountainside to see how far I've come.
When I see things in hindsight, I'm able to recognize how things that I regarded as discouraging and things that I thought must hinder God's plan were really surprises designed specially for me. A rock in the trail may have forced me to walk further - but then my detour brought me through a beautiful copse of birtch. Missing the bank and landing in the stream seemed pointless at the time but my wet footprints left a guiding mark on somebody's map.

*Yawn* "Goodnight."